Gathering Momentum - 1992
by Juliana Aragon Fatula from her unpublished memoirs, Gathering Momentum: A Spiritual Memoir.

Wash me in the river
cleanse my soul
let it flow like icebergs
gathering
to tear down hills
crush boulders.
Wash me in the moonlight
let me glitter like New Year’s eve
with magic
with fireworks
with cosmic chaos
on the silver streets.
Bathe me
in the breeze
of mountains.
Chinook me, tsunami my body, break waves on lakes over my feet until they sparkle.
Build bridges with stones and bones
dug from the ice age.
Shower me in billows of lavender
Until I’m clean, until I rejoice.

*

Alone, no radio, no internet, no tv, nada.
Just the waterfall rush of Westcliffe wind
to remind me of all I’ve missed.
The scorch of skin,
blisters on palms,
the tired broken back,
the dry throat that can’t be quenched.

*

I owe someone something.
I want to repay the gift,
with kindness
with forgiveness.

*

I abandon the beach and wedge of wind,
the sunshine changes
my hue from beige to mocha.
It’s a lullaby
when el viento blows…
The emerald grass
the silver lake,
the mountains,
the blood of Christ.
Los montañas bleed
with every sunset.

*

I pretend to sleep,
listen to you turn
pages in your book,
try to imagine
if we had never met.
I always thought
my son would save me—
But honestly,
it was you.

***

Check out Juliana’s collection of poetry, Crazy Chicana in Catholic City:

“Juliana Aragón Fatula writes histories so terrifying they feel as if they were written with a knife. She writes with craft and courage about what most folks are too ashamed to even think about, let alone talk about. Her fearlessness is inspirational. This is the kind of poetry I want to read; this the kind I want to write. She makes me feel like writing poetry!” —Sandra Cisneros